Ok,
so I'm temporarily re-doing my blog. For the next three weeks, I will
be putting myself through self-care bootcamp to try to hit the reset
button on my mood. Self-care for me is all about activities: doing
things I used to love to do that I've given up on in the last year,
spending more time with friends, checking in with my self instead of
always trying to power through everything.
Why do you need self-care bootcamp, Claire??
Let
me paint my last week for you, with just a touch of background
information. I've written about boyfriend before, but I haven't written
anything about how hard long distance relationships are. It's been
wearing on us lately, we've both been rather unkind to each other, and I
don't know if we can forgive each other. The tricky thing is: we were
planning for me to move to his city when I graduate- and I finish school
in 34 days. Pressure is on, folks.
So
that's the place I'm in leading up to this week. Then a family member
of mine went into the hospital. Then, on Tuesday, I learned that a
family member was engaging in illegal activities and I didn't know what
to do with that information. Then, on Wednesday, I had a crisis session
go extremely wrong. And then I cracked.
And
THEN I learned how cruel (or persuasive, I guess, it depends how this
turns out) the universe can be. I got a job interview for a position I
applied for in my ex's city. 34 days away from the end. I can't really
turn that interview down. Thanks, universe!
This
week had me running to my counselor with my tail between my legs and
shame on my face- I haven't been to see her in months and months when I
really should have been going regularly with all the stress in my life.
She very quickly outlined a couple things that were happening. Things
I'd been doing a great job ignoring. Here they are:
1.
I have a "yes" problem. I love my job and take on things I shouldn't.
I'm not big on giving myself breaks. One of my intern successors has the
same problem, so I hope she'll read this and learn from my mistakes.
You shouldn't burn out in your internship year.
2. I'm not enjoying things or people as much as I was enjoying them six months ago.
3.
I haven't seen my counselor in over four months. I know I said that
already, but it's a clear indicator that I haven't been taking care of
my self the way I should be. Getting into counseling is taxing and
difficult, you really do have to put on your own oxygen mask before
helping anyone else.
4.
I'm not very accepting of the stage of life that I'm in. I work way too
hard to pretend to be an adult, when I'm really just not there yet.
5.
No matter how much I love and accept my clients even while they're
breaking down, I'm still very embarrassed and ashamed to admit when I'm
breaking down myself.
Obviously,
these things need corrected. And fast. Whatever happens with this
interview, it will be the start of the next stage of my life. The
interview that I have is in approximately three weeks. If i do ever see
him again, that's when I'll see the boyfriend. Self-care bootcamp it
is. I'm looking forward to the next three weeks! It'll be fun, who
doesn't enjoy getting back in touch with themselves? I have some goals.
Do three art-related activities.
Six walks on six different trails.
Learn two new songs.
Actually finish one of the four books I'm in the middle of.
At least ten yoga sessions.
One night if live music, from a band I've never heard of before.
Rearrange the furniture in my room and office.
Go see a movie by myself.
Document everything.
Be brave and Post this blog on my Facebook where more than three people will see it!
Ok
that's it. I know this post has been kind of heavier than my usual
spunky self, but... That's kind of the point, right? From here on out,
it's all activities and pictures!
Kick 'em in the teeth. Give 'em hell.
ReplyDeleteYou'll totally have to let me know when/if you'd like a buddy for any or all of those yoga classes!! <3
ReplyDeleteThis is a great idea, and I look forward to reading the progress!