Self Esteem

I really love who I am when I'm with Boyfriend. That's not to say that I dislike myself when I'm not with Boyfriend, though. There's a lot of less-than-stellar things that one might say about me. I'm not always punctual to social events. I'm easily distracted. My clothes are often wrinkled. But in spite of (because of?) these things, I think I'm generally pretty cool. But being around Boyfriend is like a shot of espresso to my life.

Do you ever have a day where you are just seriously on point? Like, you wake up a little before the alarm goes off, feeling refreshed, and therefore getting ready for the day takes on a leisurely, relaxing feel. You don't forget anything when you leave, you eat good clean food for the day, and have chirpy, friendly interactions with everyone. Just a seriously good day. I've had a little over six months of these, and it rocks!

This is Boyfriend. I love making him proud of me when I do things well. Good grades in school, tackling a tough friend confrontation, actually leaving a note when I love-tapped a car in the garage. (That was so noble of me because I literally didn't see a single paint scratch.) It must be because I'm always so proud of him, I suppose. I'm proud of his love of plants, nature, and things that grow, I'm proud of the way he refuses to let me argue with him when I'm feeling snippy for snippy's sake. I'm proud of the way he chose a career and took school in his own stride and time frame, and not "because that's just what you do" like I did. I'm proud of him when he tells off complete strangers in public for using the word "fag." I'm proud of him for coming to feminist rallies with me! I'm proud of how often he reads and how interested he is in literally everything. I'm proud of the beautiful music he writes and plays, and his soft voice. (Time-out for the fact that I had a grumpy day this week and he just picked up a mandolin and wrote a little something to send to me and cheer me up. Swoon.)

I'm normally really friendly - but I seem to always make friends with him around. I'm happy the majority of the time, but obnoxiously so when I have him. I'm sort of neat and a little organized, but I tend to scrape my life together just a little more when he's in it. So what I'm saying is not so much that I just love my boyfriend, but more so that I love myself with him, and love the effect he has on my productivity and positivity. He's like spicy mayo on my Alaska Roll. Orange on my green and brown canvas. A fruit salad in my lunch on a hot day. That is SO corny.

:)

(Yes I edited this and it made it look like a new post. SORRY.)