So I've jumped into the world of counseling, to try my hand at helping some college students. This is the start of a list of my favorite phrases that I've heard so far. Some are silly, some are really important.
"And what are the people in your class like?"
"TRIFLIN' MOTHAFUCKAS."
"But... where was he naked?"
"Counseling is often like an abscess. As it fills up with goo, things don't really hurt. Then, when you break it open, it really hurts. But that's also when the healing starts."
"The tan penis is too ethnically specific. Use the blue one."
"She is just a pumpkin full of PMS."
"You know how everyone gets cold when the weather gets colder? We get a seasonal sickness, and once you get over that sickness, the weather is really lovely and worth is. I feel like that's where I am now. This part is the sickness before the beautiful season, and if I can just get through this, there's lovely weather on the other side."
"Any penis that smells is problematic."
"Everyone has their Vietnam - someone they shouldn't have gotten involved with."
I saw a couple that was transferred to me from another therapist. I asked what the other therapist taught them that they really liked, to which the husband replied, "I statements." I said, "great!" but noticed the wife was shaking her head. So I said, "can you give me an example of how you guys make that work?" He replied, "Yeah... you just start by saying 'I' so... like... "I don't like the way you talk to the kids. Or, I don't understand why you don't trust me." ...almost laughed, for real.
ReplyDeleteHaha, I'm going to start describing so many people as "triflin' motherfuckers!" This is perfect.
ReplyDelete